Category Archives: General

Food service

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Last night, I was dining at a “burger bar” (we’ll get to that), I noticed something odd about the mayonnaise.

Stay with me here.

They had the squeezie bottles of mayo that have shown up in the last few years. I like these things. I’ve got one in the fridge. If we can get ketchup and mustard in squeezie bottles, why not mayonnaise? Why bother with a knife?

These bottles were different, though. They were hanging out on a shelf, like one would see at the grocery store, but they were open. Open mayo containers at room temperature?

Needless to say, I was a bit wary.

I check the package. Same ingredients that I’m used to, insofar as I can tell. Same package material. The only differences were a label stating “Food Service Pack” and one showing clearly that no refrigeration was needed.

Can anyone in food service explain this to me? Why do I have to chill mayo at home, but it can sit out among the ketchup and mustard like it ain’t no thing when food service is involved?

Does it require the presence of high food prices to avoid going bad? Do the confused looks of women anxiously awaiting their photos to be published on the Suicide Girls website (we’ll get to that) maintain the integrity of the oil, vinegar and egg mixture?

What the hell did they do to the mayo????

 

As noted, the above occurred to me in a venue called a “burger bar.” On initial inspection, one expects one of two things: either it’s a bar that has burgers as a selling point, or someone is slinging burgers like shots of tequila during move-in week at UT. In actuality, it’s neither. It’s ostensibly a fast food place with expensive burgers and a full bar, either in plain sight or hidden off to the side of the dining room.

Don’t get me wrong, those expensive hamburgers can be tasty. I know a tasty burger when I’m shoving it into my face.

This is your cue to buy me a burger. I like mine with cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo (as you may have guessed) and no bun.

I’ll wait.

Oh, yeah, this is asynchronous communication. You can’t hear my hungry thoughts as I tap this out at 10 AM.

Yes, I want ground beef for breakfast. Don’t judge.

 

In any event, these places are popping up everywhere. Some are even foregoing the bar portion of the concept and just pimp patties, fries, sodas and shakes. At a premium. Some offer few benefits beyond not looking like McDonalds inside or out. Some have grass-fed, organic beef. Some just have funny names and pioneered the trend (I’m looking at you, Fuddruckers).

This presents a problem for guys like me who enjoy good burgers. Especially when married to someone who doesn’t enjoy beef hates beef and knows it will tear up her insides as she hasn’t eaten it in ages. At most places that cater to the general populace, there’s food for me and food for her. These new burger places only cater to the consumers of bovine flesh, which is (sadly?) no longer the general populace and hasn’t been for at least sixty years.

A new day will dawn and yet another fancy “burger bar” will open its doors in Austin. And I will feel compelled to shell out anywhere from eight to twenty dollars for a meal there. Because I’m an idiot? Yes. Because I love burgers? Yes.

Ignoring the previous two causes, though, it’s all their fault. *shakes fist*

 

At least one of these locales has decided to go with the very progressive stance of allowing their waitstaff to modify their bodies in any way seen fit. I fully support this. If it bothers the squares, let them pay eight dollars for a hamburger somewhere else, perhaps Fuddruckers.

Given who I am and my own experiences (since, well, that’s a good chunk of how the brain works and all), when the waitresses take this to the logical extreme, only one thing can be triggered. When the bizarre ordering method (I’m not going to bother with this one, so ask me later) is explained by a young woman with full sleeves, multiple facial piercings and black hair that is unlikely to have come from her head and likely from a bottle, the mind goes to one place alone.

Some of you are with me right now. The rest of you didn’t spend as much time as I did looking at punk rock models on the web.

As alluded to earlier, I’m talking about Suicide Girls. A website for people tired of blonde models plastered all over everything. They pushed a more realistic view of women, or at least they did. It’s been a while.

This is all well and good, though it’s not really what I want to think about when I’m eating. My primitive primate brain can only hand so much at a time. I’ve formed associations that, while positive, detract from my burger experience.

It’s a good idea to separate these stimuli. It’s not like I go to the strip club for the steak and shrimp. Or at all really.

This is, again, my fault. Connections wouldn’t have been formed without experiences I chose to have. I allowed myself to munch on a burger while repeatedly hearing songs by AFI and The Used dancing in my noggin.

Do you ladies run into the same kind of associations? Is there a male equivalent of Suicide Girls? If so, will you kindly refrain from liking me to it, as you know I can’t resist links from friends?

Is this a problem we all share, or is limited to men? Or, as I can only assume, me.

 

You can tell I got up much earlier than planned. that last section wasn’t nearly as strong as I’d like it to be.

it is useless to resist!

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Kicking the dust off this old thing tonight. Even updated the theme and dug out the old header image a very nice person made for me.

It’s nothing spectacular, not at all. But I need to be writing again, even if nobody is reading.

I even promise to stop dropping two spaces after each period. I’ve gotten much better about that. Blame my learning to type in a world of monospace fonts :)

So, cats and kittens, for 2012, I ask yet again:

Insane yet?

On Cable TV

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I’ve railed against the high price of cable TV for some time now. As if some cosmic freakiness has come about, TimeWarner cable has given me what I see as a fair rate for the next year.  Sure, I’m still paying over 100 bucks monthly. Sure, they’ve dropped HDNet and replaced it with crap. Sure, BBC America isn’t in HD (yet). 

Work with me here, okay?

Here are a few of the things I am looking forward to once they come hook things up to tomorrow:

Mythbusters. I’ve had to rely on Netflix for the handful of episodes they have. It’ll be nice to see new episodes and new explosions. 

Hey, I like science and explosions. What highly evolved male doesn’t?

Pro wrestling. I’ll discuss this further at The Atomic Drop and On Wrestling.  At length.  

Weeds. I’ve got free Showtime for three months, and the entire last season is on-demand. This is one I can enjoy with Amy. 

Yankee games. No, they don’t offer YES in my neck of the woods yet, but I will get ESPN and (maybe) a regional station that carries the Rangers. 

I also get the MLB network in HD.  Moments after the converter was hooked up, I watched the Yankees win their spring training opener.  It was done in what is becoming “the Yankee way”: a walk-off home run.  Stick around, kids, this could get exciting.

Leverage. Saw Wil Wheaton’s episode and dug it. I’ll try to watch this one as well. 

Doctor Who and Torchwood. I should be through Children of Earth and last year’s Tenth Doctor specials by the time the new series start.  And we might have them in HD by then. 

Turner Classic Movies. March is usually 31 Days of Oscar (big ugly Flash page warning), so I can make good on my “classic” movie watching. 

The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Both are getting pulled from Hulu. It was always a pain, IMHO, to watch these on Hulu anyway. I’m trying to be more apolitical. 

No, really, I am :)

I scanned through everything else I pick up, and didn’t see too much to write home about.  I do get to see the film Gummo in HD for free.  I’ve never seen Kids or anything like it, so it should be interesting.

I’ll add more if I discover anything new.  For now, time to get everything optimized!

 

 

 

 

Tom on Movies and Wrestling

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Last month I started making real goals for my life. Two of the things I remembered that I enjoyed were film and pro wrestling.

That’s an odd combination. I’m an odd person. I realize this.

Once upon a time I used to fly through my Netflix queue. They used to throttle me I was so fast.

Last year, the discs would sit for ages and I dove into Watch Instantly with my Mac Mini.

That all changed in January. I now try to watch at least one movie a week, more if I remember to get to the library (DTS only, for the time being).

I’m also re-watching old wrestling stuff I have lying around, and I found a few discs at the library. Total Nonstop Action wrestling out of Orlando has launched an offensive against the established World Wrestling Entertainment product.

Mostly, they’re using some really offensive product. Not morally offensive. It just stinks.

But wrestling is becoming ubiquitous again, and I remember how much I enjoy the storytelling and the work.

So I’ve immersed myself back into both worlds. And I’m loving it.

I’ll start with the wrestling, as I’m not going too deep into it. Back in December, Amy and I went to the Tables, Ladders and Chairs WWE event in San Antonio. It was fun, but the best work stopped after the first match. It reminded me of old WCW, which is what TNA looks like now. Blah.

Bret Hart is working for WWE again. This in itself is impressive, and it’s got my attention. I read Bret’s book recently, and he really is one hell of a guy.

His book prompted me to reread Mick Foley’s first book, which I do every few years. It fell apart in my hands, but I got through it, and it’s still great. I also watched The Best of Cactus Jack in ECW and King of the Deathmatches DVDs to see Mick in his prime. Great stuff.

Why is reread a word, but re-watch has to be hyphenated? Explain, English language!

Sorry. I also watched the WWE DVDs Stars of the 90s and Backlash 2009. Both enjoyable, but they came from the library. I wouldn’t have paid for either.

Now, onto the film stuff. You can start reading again.

The best film I saw recently was The Hurt Locker. Wow. I noted after I watched it that I felt it from my head to my toes. It’s chilling, it’s hardcore and it has some of the most interesting characters I’ve seen in a war film ever.

I’m going to wait until after the Oscars to discuss this more. Everyone needs to rent it. Today. Walk, don’t run to your Netflix queue. If the Oscars intend to mean anything, this one is going home with trophies.

I haven’t seen Avatar yet, but I don’t see it being a better film than The Hurt Locker. I’m going tomorrow to the Bob Bullock IMAX Theater here in town, and I’ll admit on these pages if I’m wrong.

Last month I watched Five Easy Pieces. For the duration, I couldn’t figure out why I was supposed to like Jack Nicholson’s character. He seemed like a total shitheel. Perhaps it’s a generational thing, perhaps it has something to do with drugs and the sixties, but I hated the guy. Still loved the film though.

Something about sweeping sixties films always gets me. The counterculture, the (now primitive) technology, the mannerisms, the slang and the way things unfold. My parents barely teenagers by the end of the decade, so films are all I really have to look to. Hopefully, they’re not lying to me. Well, at least Gimme Shelter was a documentary.

Grabbed because it had DTS was a doc called Standing In the Shadows of Motown. I really had fun with this one. The Funk Brothers were the core group of musicians that played the backing track for all the big Motown hits.

Admit it: when you hear a Motown song come on in the supermarket, or in the car, or while you’re on hold, your foot starts tapping. If you’re shameless like myself, you start singing as well. And these guys are the ones responsible for your foot tapping. Well worth the rent.

The Doors, on the other hand, was hit and miss. Val Kilmer was spot on as Jim Morrison, but the narrative was all over the place. I look forward to Ray Manzarek’s upcoming Doors doc for an alternative side to the story.

I also watched Shopgirl with Amy. It didn’t do much for either of us. Claire Danes was great, but the story bugged the crap out of us. What did other women think of the film?

That’s enough for tonight. I have Inglorious Basterds for tomorrow, along with Avatar tomorrow night. I have to slot in another “classic” film as part of my goals for this month. Any suggestions? And yes, the definition of “classic” can be stretched: AFI/Oscar quality, cult, so-bad-it’s-good, box office bombs, etc.

Little things

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I borrow DVDs from the library simply on the merit of them having a DTS audio track.

I intend to spend about forty dollars to never have to move my Mac Mini across the living room to the HDTV ever again. We call this a first world problem.

I occasionally have difficulty figuring out what the cast of Torchwood is talking about, not because I’m not following, but (what I expect are) their heavy Welsh accents getting in the way.

I imagine these same people would have trouble with my accent as well, though I try to avoid speaking in one.

It makes Amy giggle when my New York accent comes out. Hot dogs.

I think I’m going to mark 25 pounds lost this week, or at least I’ll come close. Watch my Twitter for updates.

I really wish Helvetica was licensed for the web. This post looks so much nicer within MarsEdit. I suggest you all run out, get a Mac, and install NetNewsWire and make it display this post in beautiful Helvetica.

John Gruber, of Daring Fireball, has made me a font snob. I love him for it, even if he likes the Dallas Cowboys.

Speaking of MarsEdit, Daniel Jalkut, the genius developer behind Red Sweater, sounds like he really wants to make MarsEdit for the iPad. He intimated this on a podcast while I was sitting my couch, Mac Mini connected to the HDTV, remembering that I needed to blog and not wanting to do it from the iPhone at the time.

So if I buy an iPad, it won’t be until MarsEdit exists for it, at which point I can claim it was all Daniel’s fault.

I’m testing the Clear internet service in my apartment. So far, it’s not working at all. This may be more indicative of the poor signal reception of all electromagnetic waves where I live than the quality of the service itself. I’ll let everyone know here after the tech visit.

I demand that I am Broomfondle.

Amy got a neat new haircut. I like it. Her natural curls work well with it.

There are very few transitions in this post. Scott Schneider would be very angry.

There are also very few tags. This is mostly to bury this post as it will be hardly relevant after a few weeks.

Are you following me on Twitter? I mean seriously. If you’re reading this, you care what I have to say, you’re not offended by my politics and you must like me. At which point, you want to follow me.

I’ve also started using Buzz. Their location-aware web app is up to Google’s usual quality. I plan on testing it for a week before deciding if I want it to replace Twitter.

Yes, it’s late. Yes, I’m rambling. But these are things I’ve been wanting to post about. And I need to do laundry as well.

I’m going to start my laundry now. When I come back, I’m going to talk about movies and wrestling. If this were a TV show, I’d ask you to stay tuned. Because I’m that kind of person.

A little something while my shorts dry

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No, not the shorts you’re thinking of. My exercise shorts were just washed and are now in the dryer. Since I have some time before my walk to the library and my stint in the gym, I figured I’d blog a bit about stuff.

What stuff may you ask? I dunno, I’m just gonna ramble.

Worst. Transitional sentence. Ever.

Last weekend, the Jets lost yet another AFC Championship game. I’m not the biggest football fan, but I grew up watching the Jets. I also pull for the Giants (some old college buddies had my leaning their way) and everyone who is playing against the Cowboys.

It would have been nice to see the Jets in the bowl, seeing as how I’ve seen the Giants there a few times, Buffalo four times (those were sad days, when I liked the Bills) and those damned Colts once. I think Peyton Manning is a douchebag, but I can’t take away from his skills on the football field.

I’ll still be rooting for the Saints, in deference to one of the few coworkers I respect.

Baseball starts soon. Since the season is so long, I’ve promised Amy that I’ll stick to my usual baseball routine of ignoring everything but the standings until the All-Star Break, then listening to every Yankee game on my iPhone until they’re on free TV in the playoffs.

But hey, pitchers and catchers soon. Can’t wait to see how this new pitching rotation works out.

Speaking of the Yankees, I didn’t get the chance to comment on their World Series Championship. Because I’m lazy, and I was too busy being happy. Say what you want, but the Yankees are another team I grew up with, and it’s always fun to see them play.

They’re coming to Arlington to play the Rangers in August. I plan on taking Amy and sitting in the outfield seats that come with food. Not a bad deal for $40/ticket.

Typically those seats are $35. The two Yankee games are considered “premium games,” which nets an extra $5 for most seats. So even in Dallas, home of the most overrated quarterback in history, they know who people are really coming to see.

Yes, I’m taking potshots at Tony Romo. No, I don’t care.

I’ll Howl again soon enough. Work has become extra stressful. I’m the only team lead on first shifts on the weekend, so I have more to worry about. I’ve also been asked to take more calls, though I thought I’d been managing the call volume successfully.

One of the other accounts just finished up. Nearly all of our overflow agents were with that queue, and they’re all gone now. Including our one Spanish speaking overflow agent. Net overflow agents for the majority of the day: one.

I’m currently seeking better employment. I can do nothing but take phone calls elsewhere for more money. I’m miserably underpaid, more than most people think they are. People I’m responsible for make more money than I do. Which sucks.

What doesn’t suck is exercise. I’ve turned into quite the gym rat. Which has turned my calves into gelatin. New shoes will be necessary, and soon.

Over in the sidebar my DailyMile exercise posts should load. If you follow my Twitter (@attackman) or have me as a Facebook friend, you’ll see them there as well. If you don’t see them for a while, let me know. It means I’m slacking off.

The dryer should be done soon, which means I can walk to the library to acquire the book Flatland, a wonderful science fable. I’ll then head over to the workout room and bust it for 30 minutes on the elliptical.

I would have gone in dirty shorts (eww) but the iPad announcement was this morning. Yes, I want one, but it’s not an immediate must have for me. Not waiting for any features, just the money and maybe a better job so I can consider spending money on things like this.

All morning people have whined about the iPad not having Flash. This will be the last time I say this: Flash sucks. We allowed one company to have control over web content, and they’ve failed to keep up. They continue to make poor software, forcing you to watch your processor melt to watch a video. And it’s not the video that is killing your playback, it’s the Flash container.

I use Weight Watchers eTools on my Mac, which is a Flash app on their website. They have a decent mobile app made in HTML and AJAX, but it doesn’t have all the necessary features. They could implement everything in a nice looking, proper web app, but I gather their devs are lazy.

I looked at the CPU usage for this app earlier. Flash Player, with nothing going on, was eating 5% of my cycles. Anything that requires that much CPU to idle is crap.

John Gruber has a great breakdown of this terrible tech over at Daring Fireball, which is currently pretty trafficky. I guess everyone would rather listen to him, even though he hasn’t said much yet. Here’s the article.

There, now I won’t have to subject Amy to the rest of the rant I started ten minutes ago. Sorry, love. Does Austin have a speaker’s corner?

Time to split. Later cats and kittens.